The Elysian Fields

Normally, when those hooved Hoovers, those rats-with-long-legs, otherwise known as white-tailed deer, run through our yard, that is exactly what they do. Sometimes, when I curse them the loudest, they are strolling through casually, eating everything I've planted, and generally just taking their time and enjoying themselves.

Not this particular buck.

This guy, he runs right, coming down almost to the house. Then he runs back towards the path. Then he runs left. Then right. Then left.

And when he runs, this bucko looks more like a bucking bronco wannabe then a serene stag, majestically in command of the woods.

Other than odd behavior, he looked hale and hearty, but I expect he took one too many musketballs to the head (I believe muzzle loading is now in season, but I may be wrong on that point) or some other equally unfortunate incident, which outside of the normal hunting season would mean muzzle loading season, archery season, or, the year round motor vehicle season.

It could be he was just wild n' crazy for the doe of his dreams (or whatever else might resemble her and strut by), but I was under the impression that sort of season took place in the Spring.

Deb saw a badger. Since we don't live in the southwest, Mexico, or central Canada (where they're nearly extinct), and we don't think the little bits of meadow we have qualify as their natural prairie habitat, and because the looks didn't quite convince us, Justin and I believe the critter was a groundhog.

A little bit later Deb spotted two deer - not quite together, not quite apart - both with fuzzy fat antlers. The first had a smallish 6 points spanning maybe 15-20", the second had 3-4" stubs. Well, Deb spotted the first deer, the second wasn't found until later, although it might have been the one Justin saw - she swore she saw a buck, and Justin saw a doe, so that works out roughly with the different headgear they were wearing.

Looked out my window this morning, and lo, there they were!

Two horned hooved Hoovers making eyes towards the heaths and heathers. Several red maples and a handful of raspberries had already felt their wrath. Beautiful animals really, but the reverie ended when the aimed for the young plants on the bank. Snapped my fingers a couple of times to get their attention, and then a quick hiss and a click of my tongue and they were off to wreak havoc in other places. Most likely other parts of my yard.

A couple weeks ago I saw a fawn - knee high to a grasshopper, all spotted, and on wobbly but workable legs. I was glad they were at the side of the road, because I imagine the conniptions I saw doe and fawn go through would have been worse if one or the other had been implanted in my grill.

I think my biggest issue with Rodentia clovenoofus is that their population is reaching a flashpoint. Although I would prefer they didn't stop at certain plants - I know I choose tasty varieties, but there's plenty of yummy red maples to go around, and, even though I've never seen a bite taken from a single oak leaf, you're allegedly supposed to prefer them over all other forms of food - but I really don't mind seeing them. Seeing whole herds go through, and endangering all foliage within six or so feet of the ground is a bit much. I don't know if increased hunting quotas is the solution - for some reason the deer seem to outsmart the hunters anyway, as the hunters report them as scarce when I see twenty animals on the same rounds for weeks at a time. It would take a drunk moron not to be able to... well, I suppose that's part of the problem.

This morning, I saw yet another temporary hood ornament, the carcass stashed headfirst (possibly headless) at the side of the road. I find at least three major problems with this.

First off, the animal is killed, but it serves no purpose. I rather prefer the idea that, when an animal's life is taken, it should serve a need - food, shelter, comfort - as it did Once Upon a Time. Thanks are then given for what has been provided. Not once a year, schedule-it-on-your-calendar thanks, but everyday, everytime, every bite, every bit of warmth or utility given thanks. Otherwise, like sport hunting and trophy claiming, it's just senseless murder to prove your better than something else because, really, you're not even close.

Second, how cool are we that we just stumble around, flattening things in our wake. Lumbering behemoths with no grasp of the harm we do. Ka-thunk. Of course, deer aren't small little defenseless animals, they're larger animals that may or may not do some additional damage beyond the initial impact as they flail in panic and cause hundreds or thousands of dollars of damage before they limp off into the woods and, likely, die of the injuries inflicted. Sure, it's an accident. And sure, some of the problem is that we made life safe by killing off the top predators, or, as with the bear, neutralizing them by training them to eat birdseed instead of prey that's faster on the hoof. Some of the problem is that there are just too many of us, and we're squeezing them out of the forests in our rush to pave the world.

And last, and steadily diminishing - if not least, this once majestic animal, this Eater of Things I Plant, is laid low and left to rot on the roadside, where predators who sneak a bite might be the next to be flattened if they exit on the wrong side of the table; where, through vegetation stripped bare, and unnatural surfaces that funnel too much rainwater, it can be swept quickly into our water supply, a vector of disease.

For those who don't check up on things over the weekend, a report about the hawk watch and dinner on Saturday - including links to pictures - can be found here, along with related recipes for Roasted Tomato, Pepper, and Onion and Fajitas & Salsa.

As pointed out earlier today, rather indirectly, there are many deer and very few cougars in these here parts. Yesterday, every time you'd look in the yard, you could find a deer or three. They really need to know what predators are like, because, obviously, I am not one in their book. The more they eat the things I plant, the more I almost start to wonder what they taste like.

Speaking of plants and eating, Justin and I really enjoyed the harvest of the kiwi. The hardy kiwi - a Siberian native, so hardy means something - has smaller fruit and is allegedly sweeter. It's supposed to be done cooking brewing ripening in September, and I tried one of the few that showed up last year, and found it to be harder and quite sour. These ones were a lot softer, for the most part, and those that were soft were sweeter than grapes. Yum!

While Justin was starting the car and scraping the frost from the window, I gazed around at the stars - even with the garage light blinding me, I could still pick out brazillions and brazillions of stars. Really makes you wonder what people were thinking when they light up a whole damn city and make themselves the focus of the universe, blocking out all but a handful of lights in the sky...

My reign of being Home Alone - which began on Wednesday morning at 5am comes to an end today. Deb, Justin, and Brandon return today, sometime while I'm at work. Rachel will remain at my mom's for about two weeks, and then Justin will swap places with her for a couple of weeks before everyone is back home. Of course, I spent two days of my "vacation" at work and one day working from home with a much-fun-and-entertainment stomach bug. Thanks to that little bit o' crud, I wound up falling asleep Friday night at, well, 4 AM Saturday morning.

Slept in a bit on Saturday, took care of some stuff, ate lunch, and then headed down to my co-worker's house for an afternoon and evening of gaming. It was a bit of a pirate themed afternoon, with the Pirate's Cove and Cartagena board games. I'm going to have to look into both of them - I can see the kids enjoying them, particularly the latter of the two. Very simple rules, but some interesting strategy to it.

Around 5pm or so, Michelle had to leave, and we switched over to D&D. Pizza was ordered and we set about designing our characters. Bob's druid/rimefire witch/cleric shifted around a few times, and may still be something completely different. Kevin came in a bit later, and is playing some form of mage - not sure exactly which blend, though. Although my skald (bard) was going to channel Yngwie J. Malmsteen - a thought which came to me on the ride down there - he became a bit more focused over the course of the evening, and it wasn't until the ride home that he made a fitting name change to Tungur Knivur, Blade of Thor. Still a skald, also a stormsinger, and soon to be focusing a bit more on the sword. I'll probably post a bit of his background story at some later time.

Got home at a relatively reasonable time, but then had to copy directions for Sunday (which, at that time, it technically was) and so forth, so it was around 2am when I fell asleep.

Woke up at 4am, but Sunday really needs its own post, so that will come later today.

This morning I made a quick tour of the yard - hadn't been out in it since Thursday - and I noticed that the sweet fern that we had transplanted from the bank above Rachel River to the island in Stone Stream last fall finally had buds. I had given up on it as a lost cause, to the point that on Thursday, I investigated several more clumps of the spreading, suckering plant with thoughts of attempting to move some more to replace it. Looks like it was just working on roots, and is now ready to go further. Much coolness, as it not only looks good (with its fern-like leaves,) smells nice (with its aromatic foliage,) but is also a nitrogen-fixing plant, so it will help improve the soil around it. Considering that particular area has some of the worst builder-packed garbage soil left on the property, this is a Good Thing.

To wrap up, I stopped to let a young lady and her two children cross the road, just down the street from my house. One of the young ones started a bit, turning for the woods but not bolting. She just looked at me with her big brown eyes. Finally, I gave in and rolled slowly past her, her breath almost on my window. The twins both had white spotted coats.

Maybe it has to do with the deer spray and fence, but I definitely like the rodents deer better when they're not eating everything I plant.

In no particular order:

• A hummingbird flew into my shoulder, scolded me, and then flew over to the feeder


• Ordered a string trimmer head and a blade from John Deere a few days ago, just got the call the parts came in to the local shop, so I'll pick them up tomorrow - one guess what I'll be doing later that day!


• The robins are settling into their nest in the kiwi trellis, although they scatter if you stare too long at them or get too close (understandable, but you think with all the scouting they did prior to moving in that they'd realize we were around...)


• Deb did something for her birthday, but I'm not telling what - even though word got around her family almost instantly, you won't hear about it from be, because I said I wouldn't mention it


• A doe took a nap in our backyard for at least an hour Wednesday morning


• Deb is working through an edit of Full Moon Poetry - need to work a bit on the opening and some more on the ending; I knew their were some weak spots there, and I'm indecisive about how to work through them


• Saw a turkey buzzard walking in a parking lot the other day; except for the flying part, they do look an awful lot like wild turkeys


• If you guessed that I would be trying to fit a cutting blade from one model string trimmer onto another deprecated model, you'd be absolutely correct... although I'll probably put the string head on first and chop down the grass on the sandmound and along Rachel River - re-read the "How to plant a native prairie" instructions and discovered that the first year growth should be kept to 5 inches - a limit which it certainly is exceeding by an order of magnitude. It is actually sparse enough that it won't cause that much of an issue, but I'm going to try to keep the sandmound trimmed down so it is easier to maintain for fall planting and its first year.

In no particular order:

- A deer was browsing along the back lawn this morning. He looked up when I opened the door, but was not impressed, and neither started shouting "Run away!" nor proceeded to do so.

- Last night, shadesong posted my favorite Sandman quote, and moments later I realized my BNU reply on why da Vinci was still popular today segued naturally right into the quote.

- Yesterday, while I was getting ready to jump in the shower, I heard a loud noise and then watched traffic come to a crawl in the northbound lanes of the turnpike. Turns out one truck pushed another into the center barrier. Made all the news shows last night, but doesn't seem to have arrived on anything Googleable for a link.

- "Inertia is not a good excuse to stay with a bank" - or something very similar, noticed it this morning on a billboard, with a bank name so small I missed exactly what they were trying to sell. I'm wondering - with the plunging level of literacy - how many people driving by have a clue what "inertia" means? The cynic on my shoulder wonders how long it will be before banks are required to post large disclaimers about how switching your bank may impact your credit rating. Some creditors seem to frown upon low check numbers. I've actually seen signs posting that they won't accept low check numbers; some banks have responded by starting checking accounts at higher numbers. I'm wondering if refusal of credit or refusal to accept checks provides a good excuse for staying with a bank?

Looks like almost everything planted in Rachel's garden is growing - corn, watermelon, squash, gourds, corn, basil, and so on. Might have to rename the Ivy Triangle to the Fern Triangle - it's covered in bracken ferns and at least one other type (lady?) of fern. The mixed foxglove planted last year are throwing flower stalks up, and flower buds are definitely developing. I'm looking forward to seeing them flower - and to see the hummingbirds they should attract. The iris along the garage wall are blooming - although not in common view, so no idea if the hummingbirds stop by. They'll be moved this fall, and will be much more visible - right along the stream, along with the hosta that have already proved to attract hummingbirds.

The native hemlock - which took quite a hit after being transplanted last fall and then repeatedly dragged down by ice storms in the winter - is showing lots of new growth, so it looks like it will pull through. Most of the seedling hemlocks show some growth, but all but two of those are in the 6 to 8 inch height range - the native one is about 5 feet tall. All of the Colorado blue and Norway spruces show signs of growth - a couple of the CBS' are getting downright shaggy. The white fir is also growing quite well, although the Douglas fir (which is, of course, not really a fir, but I still can't help summing up the two of them together) shows growth it also shows a lot of needle loss - not sure how it will do in the long run. Still waiting for signs of life from the Leyland cypress - it suffered extensive ice damage. The Scotch and Austrian pines are doing well, as are the native white and pitch pines.

The oldest of the American holly seedlings is recovering nicely - all the hollies lost their leaves this spring, shortly after planting the latest batch. The two planted this spring show no signs of life, and the one planted last fall *might* be budding, but the eldest now has a significantly larger number of leaves. I'm hoping these pull through - although now a fairly popular gardening plant, the American holly is on the threatened/endangered list in Pennsylvania, and I'd like to get a significant number of them growing in our woods. The southern magnolias are showing signs of modest growth, so there's hope for them yet.

The bald cypress is finally sporting some needles - I was thinking it wasn't going to grow at all. Still waiting for the quaking aspen, river birch, and American sweetgum planted this spring to show signs of life - I remember with the other river birch it was slow to get started and then took off (before getting eaten several times by deer!) so I still have some hope. Much less hope for the beech trees - the two American beech planted this spring and the European beech planted last spring have shown no signs of life at all, although they are still flexible. The crepe myrtle resprouted from the ground - not a good sign, since it is allegedly hardier than the magnolias and eucalyptus. If it has trouble, it is more than likely those others will as well.

The two native hawthorns are doing great, and even the spring-planted Washington hawthorn seedlings are sporting lots of leaves. The lacebark elm, redbuds, and one of the goldenraintrees planted this spring look like they will do well. Sugar and silver maples also seem to be doing well. The Japanese maples are sporting many more leaves than last year, but all seem clustered around the central trunk - looking forward to seeing them spread out. I think the deer attacks last year shut down the London plane tree; a few buds are visible, but it still hasn't made a move to show a leaf. The nearby tulip tree is recovering well from some mild browsing, and looks to have doubled in height.

Seems like the deer pills work - the deer sampled some of the trees, but didn't browse heavily. Might need to supplement with some hot pepper/egg spray, to make sure they don't come close. Probably need to whip up a batch for the elderberry, mulberry, and other plants that offer human-edible berries or whatnot.

Found something new growing on Driveway Island, about 10 feet or so in from the road - think it might be a mulberry.