Communication Breakdown
Aug. 4th, 2005 01:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ellyssianSo last night, Deb said she didn't know how much more of Brandon's whining and hanging on she could take, and I attempted to be sympathetic, but apparently blew it by stating that it was just a phase he was in.
Now she won't talk to me at all. She won't answer the phone, although she did take it when Rachel answered and handed it to her.
Me: Did the plumber come?
Her: Yes
Me: Is he done?
Her: Yes
Me: Did he explain how to take care of it (it = water filters)?
Her: No
Me: Did you go down and look at the work he did?
Her: No
Me: Did you pay by check?
Her: Yes
Me: Can you give me a bit more information and not just say 'yes' or 'no'?
Her: No
There were several silences in there, and places where I had to rephrase things as yes/no questions before she would respond, but I misremember their locations exactly. I think one of them was "How did things go?" which was replaced by the "Is he done?" but you get the idea.
For the record, my work offers a certain number of free, confidential mental health visits for employees and family. She refused counseling because she says we can't afford it.
Now she won't talk to me at all. She won't answer the phone, although she did take it when Rachel answered and handed it to her.
Me: Did the plumber come?
Her: Yes
Me: Is he done?
Her: Yes
Me: Did he explain how to take care of it (it = water filters)?
Her: No
Me: Did you go down and look at the work he did?
Her: No
Me: Did you pay by check?
Her: Yes
Me: Can you give me a bit more information and not just say 'yes' or 'no'?
Her: No
There were several silences in there, and places where I had to rephrase things as yes/no questions before she would respond, but I misremember their locations exactly. I think one of them was "How did things go?" which was replaced by the "Is he done?" but you get the idea.
For the record, my work offers a certain number of free, confidential mental health visits for employees and family. She refused counseling because she says we can't afford it.
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(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-04 11:13 am (UTC)It sounds like she'd be happier with you if you just lied to her constantly, telling her what she wants to hear and not the truth.
Sorry hon. It sucks when things get to these points...
(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-04 11:47 am (UTC)I'm not sure if it's lies she wants to hear - but that's the problem, I suppose: there is one correct answer and my ESP is malfunctioning so I am unable to discern it, and, truth be told, I think it might be a moving target, and the correct answer is always something other than my response.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-04 06:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-08-04 06:26 pm (UTC)Apparently, I need to stop claiming that she has any part in the communications failure.
She tentatively accepted going to a counselor - but then she asked if it was for couples counseling or just for her, and I explained the intent was to get her helped first then we could go from there.
At that time, if she really doesn't want to be with me, she's free to go.
I wasn't quite clear on the response she gave me, as she stopped talking to me - not that we said much during that "discussion" - and hasn't said anything but mumble under her breath once since. So we will see.