The Elysian Fields

I'm not sure how to get around this.

The handsome prince rides in to save the damsel in distress. The damsel, it would seem, is completely incapable of helping herself, and needs him to handle things for her.

The dream was extremely rich and beautiful, the character (the "prince") was a great orator and a compelling hero. The "damsel" was a bit of a trick, with a maiden swapping out for the mother, which makes for a better "prize" for the "prince"... but that was as far as the dream went.

I want to write it ~ started it ~ but I'm not sure how I can write it without having the obvious "he needed to save her" overtones. Because that's kind of what he does. So now I want to figure it out without making her a weak, useless, helpless character that the whole storyline seems to make her out to be.

I suppose it could be a ruse, a trap to ensnare the "prince", but I really want him to be the strong character he revealed himself to be. She had strength and majesty too, but the whole storyline seems to say otherwise when I really look at. And, clearly, if I write it as-is, her weakness will be obvious to the readers, but nothing will convey the strength.

Also, following it through, if things play out as-is, the "prince" is just a conquering army, and she is just a "prize". And I really don't want that to happen.

So what I need to do is figure out how to have her be competent despite being in a situation, at the outset, that screams of incompetence and ineptitude.

Hmmm...

A challenge to the automotive design engineers who read this (who number, to the best of my knowledge, somewhere around exactly zero individuals):

Whereas windshield wipers (hereafter referred to as Wipers) are not mounted in the trunk nor are Wipers mounted under the dashboard by the heater nor are Wipers mounted on posts in otherwise deserted tropical islands;

Whereas Wipers are quite often found on the exterior of automobiles, trucks, trains, helicopters, and other such exterior applications;

Whereas exterior applications are, by their very nature of being exterior and not interior, exposed to the elements;

Whereas elements have a tendency, on a somewhat seasonal basis and driven by a chaotic system, to vary in such ways that include Wet or Cold;

Whereas certain regions have, at certain times of the year, the habit of experiencing both Wet and Cold at the same, or closely alternating, instance in time;

Whereas Wipers are designed to move by electrical and mechanical means;

Whereas those means may be halted in their tracks by even a small quantity of Wet that has become Cold;

Whereas at least one flavor of heat-application doesn't always reduce enough for the Wet to get out of the way;

Can you please design the frickin' Wipers so they don't burn their motors out or snap off their linkages or keep forcing their way in one immovable direction without resetting safely and calmly and waiting to try again later when the situation may or may not have changed; resulting in eventual success when the Spring Thaw happens or when whatever heating technology you allegedly have actually does what it allegedly should.

While you may consider it entertaining to design things in such a manner as they currently exist - akin to including a failsafe in all jumbo jets that forces the engines to prepare for takeoff any time they're started, even if that means flying at force into the nearest terminal - I'd really rather not have to replace any more wiper motors or wiper linkage or anything else involved in a fairly important piece of safety equipment.

A common problem - that of the blades freezing to the windows - would also be less painful if the wiper motors didn't continue to strain at the leash. This issue is the one that seems to be addressed when "frozen" and "wipers" are the query; sadly, this is easily handled manually, and a quick scrape and the basic windshield defroster can handle the issue. There's also these, designed to cope with the situation.

That low hanging fruit, the frost glazed squeegee stuck to glass, is not what I've been experiencing these last two years. Over a quarter century of New England winters and I've not experienced what I'm seeing now down here in the tropics. All three vehicles have had it happen this year, it's like an epidemic. All visible surface ice can be removed, everything you can get at without disassembling grills and so forth can be cleared and this problem still occurs.

It's one of those design issues that just shouldn't happen. Why, having those motors designed to hope against hope and commit suicide makes about as much sense as making commonly replaced items, such as headlights, difficult to replace. Or mounting sensitive electronic components in an environment exposed to extremes of heat and cold and oils and vibration, such as those experienced in the engine compartment of a car. Or knowing for at least thirty-five years that energy efficiency is a Good Thing and, instead of increasing both efficiency and performance, pretending that you can only do one or the other, and having delusions that the former can only happen if the car is butt-ugly.

See, here's the thing. I've always considered myself an idea guy. Thought it would be best to specialize in that. Let someone else do the execution of the idea.

So the quote this morning really hit me.

Good ideas - even great ideas - don't go anywhere on their own. They need people to pass them on, to translate them from one thing (say, a concept sketch) to another (a detailed mechanical drawing) to another (a jig to work the piece) to a final product. The words I write out, sometimes with quick sketches, could represent some of the most brilliant devices ever created by mankind. Sitting in a notebook in a box in my attic they aren't doing much to provide energy efficient, affordable solar power.

Now, I have no doubt in my mind that any single idea or concept I have - whether it's a poem, short story, or a quick description and a sketch - is not actually such an earth-shattering thing. But some of them need to escape into the wild and actually become something else to make even the least bit of difference - even if all they do is put a smile on my face.

I've spent too much time convincing myself that it's okay to just be the idea guy, just do what I'm good at - and nothing ever gets done. Whether it is acres of mansion with internal and external streams fitted for hydro, solar, and wind power or trying to figure out how to do things with the moisture problem in my own cellar.

It's equivalent to the princess who waits in her tower for a knight to save her - maybe, in my case, it's more like waiting for a princess who will help pay for a set of armor so I can then save her.

It's unrealistic to bank everything on ideas. There are certain places where that is a well paying job, but generally you only get to those things after being able to prove out one or more in execution.

Ideas are still important, but they need to be acted upon, otherwise it's all just a clever fiction.

This PSA is brought to you by nhmetalchick and the letter bee...

• The modern house designers and builders are morons. Refer back to this point often - you're very likely to have situations that break most, if not all, of the four design specs that follow and make the last point difficult.


• Dryer venting needs to be very short - enough to get up to ground level (if below ground) and out. Shorter is safer. Ours is about 20 feet or more, twice the recommended maximum


• Site dryers against an outer wall. Ours is nice and cosy, dead center, hence the 20' vent


• Dryer venting needs to be made of metal - those old vinyl hoses don't cut it. Ours is a heavy pipe, which is not ideal, but given the location, retrofitting something else would be very expensive.


• Dryer venting needs as few twists and turns as possible. Aim for none. Flexible metal hose is sometimes necessary, but not desirable. Ours goes through a short run of flexible metal hose to the aforementioned pipe, which has a couple serious contortions before a long straight run.


• Clean your dryer vent at least once a month, whether it needs it or not. Unless you don't use the dryer, or, perhaps, if you run it without any fabric-based items inside it, it will need it.

The lint trap on the drier catches only a small portion of the lint from each load of laundry. The rest goes out the vent. It is moist, and clings to the walls of the smoothest pipe - the flexible hoses will catch obscene amounts of the stuff. Animals like mice like to nest in vents - cages on the vent exit will prevent some from entering; automatically opening and closing doors will prevent others.

If the vent is ideal (a straight metal pipe about a foot long), you can clean it with a simple brush. If not, I recommend something like the LintEater System and Extension kit - which happens to be exactly what we use. It attaches to any drill and, combined with a vacuum or the dryer itself will make relatively easy work out of the job.

A couple of caveats: when you're spinning a long set of extension rods in or out of the vent, do not let them touch vegetation. The stuff will get tangled quickly, and, in addition to getting yanked out by the roots and leaving bare spots, it is a pain to clear off and cut free. The kit comes with a guard for the dryer to protect the blower from the brush so you can leave the dryer in place and not ruin the motor by jamming the brush into it. In my experience, this provides a very efficient lint trap which will plug up your venting in about, oh, three weeks. Completely plugged up. Which is what you're trying to avoid - I would advise not using it and doing the extra work to unhook the drier and use a vacuum (we use a cheap, under-powered shop vac and it does the job quite well.)

EDIT: added the ideas and energy tags to help track the discussion silme brought up about condenser dryers

A very tentative title, a mere placeholder that describes where the story is told - Mount Auburn Cemetery, in Cambridge MA. This begins with the POV traded off between two characters. I'd have gone a bit further, but that portion still has scaffolding around it, and I'm not yet sure if it speaks the truth or lies.

Her tears tasted of the River Acheron.

That gave me pause. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt such loneliness, such overbearing sadness. A subtle humour that, considering I live in a cemetery, but there you have it.

Now don't go thinking I'm one of those boggarts or dweomerfale that feed off of that sort of thing, no, not at all! but when those tears spread across the surface of the pond like oil, coloured in a rainbow of agony and pain, I did feel a pang. Story is what I'm after, you see, and sorrow that deep has a tale to tell.

There are stories that tell of walking on water, and I was nearly needy enough to bolt straightaways over that tainted surface, but I held myself back for two reasons. First off, she was in a fragile state, and a forthright charge would do nothing to set her at ease. Even if she didn't run, she'd not be likely to speak freely of dark secrets, now would she? No story would have meant no reason to rush to her in the first place – not that she'd know that – and I'm sure that if I went fleetly flying over the rippling waters, it would have her thinking all sorts of nasty things were about to occur, and she'd be downright uncommunicative. Not only that, but the second reason for not running the waves is even simpler.

I would sink like a rock.

~ ~ ~

I felt as if someone was watching me. Through the tears, the pond, the trees, the crypts, and the monuments blended and blurred, like an impressionistic painting. Perhaps if I had tried to focus, to wipe my eyes, even just to blink... but I didn't really feel it was worth the effort.

Didn't feel much of anything, really.

Distant.

Like the eyes on me.

Did Van Gogh paint crypts? The one across the way, done with dashes of still-wet paint, held staring eyes. Dead eyes – no, undead eyes, I mused. Vampires, werewolves, and zombies, oh my. Or maybe a psychotic killer behind a headstone, who picked out the perfect prey – blinded by the tears in her eyes. On any other day, those kind of thoughts would drive me away. No sanctuary when you've got one eye peeled for madmen with axes and chainsaws and another on the lookout for gypsies and thieves, the third firmly fixed on chimeras and dragons that are feeling a nagging rumbling in their bellies.

This particular day, though, no matter what weird creature might come by to grind my bones to make some bread, it would be my sanctuary.

It was the best I had on short notice, so it would have to do.

That, and, although I wasn't exactly suicidal, if a serial killer or other monster stepped out from behind a tree and asked for a volunteer to be his victim, I'd be the first to raise my hand.

Yeah. So maybe a little suicidal.

"Hey," I called out, throwing myself back on the perfectly manicured lawn, arms and legs spread wide, "Take me, I'm yours."

Yeah. Overly dramatic, too.

Larry Spring's Alternative Theory of Electromagnetism - seems interesting, turns existing ideas on their heads, which is always healthy. I particularly enjoyed the cartoon on peer review... I look at it slightly different though, and see the new solutions as solid and firm, and most of the waves seem to come from those who fear change. Anyway, any thoughts on the matter? (Any physicists read this?)