(no subject)
Jul. 6th, 2005 08:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ellyssianThose who have well water, and who have suffered the loss of a dearly beloved water heater, know, with absolute faith, that the center of the earth is not a molten, fiery, mass. It's actually closer to a giant popsicle, and it exists solely for the purpose of providing water so cold that your breath gets taken away if you attempt to shower in it. Of course, that same water is still not cold enough to drink - feels all warm and cozy then.
There are, of course, alternate theories that allow for a flaming-lava-filled world. Through condensation and evaporation and other various half-wit pseudoscience, you can achieve refrigeration from heat. In this theory, the core of the earth is used to supercool the water that is then delivered to the shivering, water-heater deprived masses. The advantage to accepting this theory is that it provides a means for explaining the warmth of drinking water - pipes deep underground switch from hot to cold, in an inverse relationship to what the test subject is requesting from the faucets.
In further studies on this subject, and in support of the hypothesis reached long ago in the most widely accepted research in this area (Well Water and Water Heaters, by Warren, Warren, and Warren (aka Me, Myself, and I), July 2005), it has been proven that:
- Given a significant drought and heat wave;
- Given the month of July (please, take it...)
- Given well water;
- Given a malfunctioning water heater;
- Given the well proven fact that using the garden house to shower has less of a chance of inducing hypothermia than a standard shower;
Then the following will inevitably occur:
- The temperature shall become unseasonably low;
- The clouds will prepare special delivery of chilled water;
- The large incandescent bulb (aka Sol) will be switched off in favor of cooler, more energy efficient fluorescentlighting installed just beyond the horizon;
- The garden hose shower is still warmer than the standard shower.
There are, of course, alternate theories that allow for a flaming-lava-filled world. Through condensation and evaporation and other various half-wit pseudoscience, you can achieve refrigeration from heat. In this theory, the core of the earth is used to supercool the water that is then delivered to the shivering, water-heater deprived masses. The advantage to accepting this theory is that it provides a means for explaining the warmth of drinking water - pipes deep underground switch from hot to cold, in an inverse relationship to what the test subject is requesting from the faucets.
In further studies on this subject, and in support of the hypothesis reached long ago in the most widely accepted research in this area (Well Water and Water Heaters, by Warren, Warren, and Warren (aka Me, Myself, and I), July 2005), it has been proven that:
- Given a significant drought and heat wave;
- Given the month of July (please, take it...)
- Given well water;
- Given a malfunctioning water heater;
- Given the well proven fact that using the garden house to shower has less of a chance of inducing hypothermia than a standard shower;
Then the following will inevitably occur:
- The temperature shall become unseasonably low;
- The clouds will prepare special delivery of chilled water;
- The large incandescent bulb (aka Sol) will be switched off in favor of cooler, more energy efficient fluorescentlighting installed just beyond the horizon;
- The garden hose shower is still warmer than the standard shower.
