How to Tell if Architects & Home Builders are from Another Planet, #23846

Picture, if you will, a bathroom.

Picture a single towel bar mounted on the wall.

Picture the sole heat source in the room installed less than half a towel length below that towel bar.

That's right: muffle the heat if you hang up a towel.

Yet more proof positive that the good folks designing and building our houses and other everyday items are actually amorphous aliens from galaxies and/or dimensions far, far away, who have never used towels, opened doors, or changed a lightbulb.

Stooopid State of Pennsylvania

In an effort to comply with federal mandates and ensure Every Child Is Dumb As A Post, the state of Pennsylvania has threatened to revoke the charter/licensing/whateverthehellitisthatallowsthemtonotteach for Justin's school if they continue the CHAMPS (college ed concurrent with high school ed) program.

Wouldn't want to educate our kids, now would we?

Justin will be able to continue out this semester because it's paid for, but that's it for further education.

Maybe if we weren't paying so much for the education he's not getting, we could afford to send him there on our own, but the annual school taxes are already more than a month's salary.

I don't think I'd mind the high price if there was actually an education attached to it.

Brandonisms

Me: "How was your day?"

Mr. B: "I had a good day." Somewhat garbled as I was hanging up my coat

Me: "You had a good day?"

Mr. B: "No. it was a bad day. And then there were bad monsters."

Me: "Did they eat you up?"

Mr. B: "Actually, I ate some of the bad monsters up. And there were good monsters too."

~ ~ ~

Comes in my room and locks the door.

That locks out the bad monsters. Now I'll go get some energy and let it in.

Opens door

Come in energy!

Closes door and locks it again

And now I'll let some shadows in.

Opens door, then closes and locks it

I'll go chase the bad monsters away.

Opens door, runs out in hall

Ooooo... Ahhh!

Runs back in, closes and locks door

I scaret the bad monsters away! Oh, I forgot to let the good monsters in!

Opens door, then closes and locks it

Come in good monsters! Now I'll go eat some bad monsters up and they die.

Opens door, runs out in hall

Yum, yum, yum.

Runs back in, closes and locks door

They died now 'cause I ate them. Now I'll spin the monsters away.

Spins

You can buy all kinds of things. Books. Pokemon cards. Aminals. Drums.

And I'll talk about 'ings. Drums. Monsters. And the bad monsters dieded by me. 'Cause I'm a good monster.

Brings box of Pokemon cards over to Justin

Can you 'elp me read 'em?

Finds a card with candy on it

Oh, this is tremendous. Yum yum. Want some?

Feeds me and Justin imaginary candy

Wasn't that really good?

Crawls up on bed next to me

Oh, I'm lying down.

Flops down on the pillow

Oh, hi, daddy! What are you doing?

Me: Writing about you.

Mr. B: Oh. I'm going to eat some more yummy candy.

Note: This is less than a quarter of what he's saying, because I only type 90 wpm, and I can't keep up with him.