The Penguins are Coming!

[ellyssian]

kradical let me in on this important snippet of news: the penguins are coming!

Some of you are already aware of this, and are already making preparations. I fully expect orders for RPLS systems to increase in pace. Have your colander and fuzzy slippers on hand, boys and girls, this is not a drill.

Comments

[d2leddy.livejournal.com]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ellyssian.livejournal.com]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

[d2leddy.livejournal.com]

**panics.

**searches for Dewey Decimalator ^TM

[ellyssian.livejournal.com]

Superfluous.

Here, have an RPLS. Much more effective. The ammunition usually has such an enjoyable time getting launched at high speeds into hordes of penguins that they'll often return for another round once they've cleared an area.

[pecosdave.livejournal.com]

Thanks to Happy Feet and those penguins above my daughter is now nuts for penguins. What the heck, she already uses Linux :-)

[ellyssian.livejournal.com]

Well, if it gets too rough let me know, and I'll see about having some Rocket Propelled Leopard Seals drop shipped to you ASAP.

They always come in handy during penguin invasions, donchaknow.

[malinaldarose.livejournal.com]

I hope a plastic colander is sufficient. And my fuzzy slippers are pink, so that should be no problem.

[ellyssian.livejournal.com]

Hey, I don't know nuthin' about that old school tech. I just pass on that information as a community service.

I've got my RPLS supply on hand, and that's all I need, as long as I remember to keep some for myself! =)

[belgatherial.livejournal.com]

You do make me wonder whose side you are really on....

[ellyssian.livejournal.com]

Thank you for noticing! Quite an easy question, that - why, I'm all for the winning side!

[belgatherial.livejournal.com]

*raises eyebrow*

[ellyssian.livejournal.com]

Besides, I would think the RPLS would be a dead giveaway. After all, when I was talking to the Supreme Emperor the other day, he expressed great displeasure that I was still marketing the RPLS. Said it was the "greatest threat to penguindom known" and that's got to count for something, right?

[belgatherial.livejournal.com]

Ah, but you're the only one who knows how to operstae them properly. The one you sent me turned into a herring when I tried to fire it.

[ellyssian.livejournal.com]

[InvokeChistopherWalken]Don't be silly. You followed the instructions when packing the shells, right? It clearly said "Stuff one leopard seal into each shell casing, nose first." It did not specify to stuff the herring in, except to help encourage a reluctant leopard seal into the casing.

Yeah, if you forget that part, those penguins, they're going to love you.[/InvokeChristopherWalken]

[straif.livejournal.com]

I'm sure they'll listen to Reason.

Reason is a needlegun-style rail gun in the style of a Gatling gun that fires small heavy fragments of depleted colanderium at super high speeds that will penetrate nearly anything.

The name plate reads:

REASON
Version 1.0B7
Gatling type 3 mm hypervelocity railgun system
TH Security Industries, Inc.
PRERELEASE VERSION-NOT FOR FIELD USE
DO NOT TEST IN A POPULATED AREA
-ULTIMA RATIO DICTATORI-